Pulled Off Your Path | PASSAGES :001

“Do not give your attention to what others do or fail to do; give it to what you do or fail to do.”

My son Jackson hiking on the Ice Age Trail this past summer.

“Do not give your attention to what others do or fail to do; give it to what you do or fail to do.” -The Buddha, The Dhammapada

I’m just hopping on the app for a second to check one thing. I need to find out this one particular detail. Nothing more.

But then something else catches my eye. An intriguing image, a video, or maybe a quote card. By someone I really admire or maybe someone who annoys me. It doesn’t really matter. The result is the same either way.

I look. I click. I click again. Down the rabbit hole I go. Or, perhaps, into the abyss. Something this person is up to has grabbed my attention. A product they’re launching. A project they’re developing. A turn of phrase. A social connection. Whatever it is, the thing sparks an idea in my mind. Or maybe multiple ideas. 

I should try that. 

I should do this. 

Why have I not done that yet?

Maybe my approach is wrong.

Or also…

There they go again.

That’s never going to work.

Really?

What a bunch of bullshit.

Whether my response is one of admiration or disdain. Whether what they’re doing is inspiring and needed or obnoxious and irrelevant. Whether it causes me to feel encouraged or unsettled about the work that is mine to do, there is a serious consequence:

My attention wavers.

It gets dispersed.

It is diminished.

I am pulled off my path.

Away from my creative contribution.

Rather than gathering up my energy and intentionally channeling it into what is mine to do, I let it spill out all over the place.

This actually happened multiple times as I worked towards launching this STILL newsletter. Yes, it was helpful to check out all of Substack’s valuable resources to get my bearings! Yes, it is important to glean from the wisdom of others! Yes, research can bring clarity!

But there were also those moments where I found myself drifting from these purposes. Paying too close attention to what has been successful for others, for example. Triple and quadruple checking how others went about a particular aspect of their site instead of settling down and discerning what was right for me. Allowing some outer reference point to dictate how I go about STILL and what this is about instead of listening to my inner knowing.

The Buddha had something to say about this a long time ago:

Do not give your attention to what others do or fail to do.

This doesn’t mean you need to go hide out in a cave. It doesn’t require that you become stingy in celebrating the good things others are doing. It is not a call to be self-centered and dismissive of others.

But it does caution against playing fast and loose with your attention. Don’t get caught up in whether or not someone should be doing something. Or how they’re going about it. Don’t judge their intent. Don’t be troubled by the successes of others. 

Because these things can derail you from the journey that is yours alone to undertake. They can deter you from giving the unique gift that is yours to give.

Instead, give your attention to what YOU do or fail to do. 

To be clear, this isn’t an efficiency tip, bro. And it isn’t about designing some elaborate strategic plan. It is not advising stubborn persistence.

No, it’s deeper than that. This is about being faithful. About stewardship. About being true to who you are and what you are called to. And carrying that thing forward. Giving your attention to what you do or fail to do.

It’s what my friend Jonathan just did. He plunged himself into writing and self-publishing a beautiful book about waiting, saying, it was “not a strategic decision… This is the product of compulsion, longing, and desire: no publisher, no advertising, no advance copies, no support system—I just had to DO IT.”

And what my friend Ryan did recently when he launched a Kickstarter (fully funded!) to write and produce an electronic music album. You know, the classic ordained minister to real estate agent to EDM artist path. No, that’s not a path for anyone! Except Ryan. It’s what he had to do!

It’s also precisely what pop star TJ Mack boldly sings about in his hit song “Inside.” He doesn’t care if everybody wanna be outside. He’s staying inside. Check it out here, though I’ll warn you: once you see this, you can’t unsee it! (And for context on what the hell you just watched, see Time’s How Viral Fame Is Sitting With Brian Jordan Alvarez.)

What is yours to do may be as large as a book or an album. It could be as small as staying inside. Or it could be anything in between. But no matter the scale at which it is expressed—in a moment or throughout a lifetime, across the street or around the world, in a simple gesture or in a career or creative endeavor—what is yours to do can only happen if you keep your attention on your own business!

Before anything, be in tune with that thing inside you. That way of being. That idea. That possibility. No, not the version of it that came to you when you saw what someone else was doing! But the raw, pure, original version that emerged from within you.

What have you done with that thing? 

When you got a glimpse of it, did you give it space? Did you water it? Did you give it the appropriate amount of sunlight? Or did you withdraw? Did you hide it in fear?

When you were in the creative process and things were flowing, but then they got really difficult, did you get quiet and listen for the right next step? Or did you jump ship?

When you were far along, but then you saw others doing something similar or having more “success,” did you stay the course and remain true to what was yours to bring forth? Or did you anxiously alter your approach in an attempt to imitate them?

The compass for your calling. For what you create. For how you contribute. This is not located anywhere outside of you. (And definitely not in a social media post like the ones that pull me down the rabbit hole!) It is located within you. So go to that place. Listen. And pay attention to the particular gift that you are invited and challenged to express.

Reflection Questions

See above, just before that last paragraph!