The Dangers of Volunteering
How I became a hospice chaplain & more thoughts on calling (part 4)
A recent review of The Way Home, available now:
Profound, while being highly enjoyable and readable. As a woman who has yet to reach midlife, I found this book provided a wonderful perspective, and great advice on living… You won't regret picking up this book!
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A year and a half ago I started volunteering as a hospice companion.
I used to be a pastor. So being around the dying and grieving was not completely new to me.
But in recent years—after undergoing a soul journey in which I endured the death of former versions of myself and faced my own mortality—I felt increasingly drawn to come alongside people approaching death.
As a volunteer, I accompanied about a dozen individuals.
It was an honor.
It was a gift.
It was sacred.
Turns out, it was dangerous too.
Volunteering was dangerous because it made me remember.
I remembered purposeful experiences throughout my life with the dying and aging. Twenty years ago, supporting my dear friend and her dad as he passed away. My final year of college, squeezing into a small room to join a half-dozen octogenarian-plus retired professors everyday for late morning coffee. And that time I was at a benefit for our neighborhood senior center, tears streaking down my face, as I heard stories about how seniors in our society or often isolated, hidden, and forgotten.
Volunteering was also dangerous because it activated my gifts.
My last pastoral role ended nearly a decade ago. Yes, I still express that part of me in my writing, coaching, and as a meditation teacher (and as a taproom manager too!). But hospice companionship awoke my somewhat-dormant nurturing gifts. Presence. Tenderness. Care.
Finally, volunteering was dangerous because it expanded my heart.
My awareness, knowledge, and experience of end-of-life realities and challenges grew. And so did my passion for this particular branch of the human family—the dying—a branch we all inevitably end up on, by the way.
So… what exactly is so dangerous about all of this?
Well, it just started as a little volunteer thing—an hour or two, here or there.
But then came the memories of purpose and reawakened gifts and deepened passion.
Then came a desire to do more of this work.
In other words, then came a calling.
And now… this past week… I began a part-time role as a hospice chaplain.
I’ll be a part of an integrated team of nurses, social workers, and other care providers. Accompanying the dying and their families—this sacred work—will be a regular, substantial part of my weekly rhythm.
This is what’s dangerous about volunteering: you might get into it because you want to make a little space in your life for your curiosity. Or a dash of your passion. Or a desire to help others. But it might have more in mind for you. It might require more of you. It might move from the edge of your life to the center.
What begins as optional volunteering might end up being an inescapable calling.
Now, remember, just because something is your calling doesn’t mean it has to become your career. You can express your calling at home, in your community, through hobbies, or in a single moment.
But also, know this: just because something is voluntary—hospice care or whether it’s coaching youth baseball, coordinating the PTA pancake dinner, or keeping the local river clean—doesn’t preclude it from becoming a mandatory expression of your purpose.
Speaking form experience, you might want to keep this in mind the next time you’re thinking of signing up to volunteer.
“Everyone has been made for some particular work,
and the desire for that work has been put in our heart.”
-Rumi
